Have you had an affair?
When an affair happens in a marriage, it can be devastating. When coaching couples to help save a marriage and survive an affair, I admire the strategies laid out by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., author of the internationally best selling book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage.
His belief maintains that an affair is much like an addiction and it’s recovery needs to be treated as seriously and comprehensively as one would treat any other unhealthy addiction.
Dr. Harley states, “There are three parts to the way affairs should end.
1. The first part is revealing the affair to one’s spouse,
2. The second part is never seeing or communicating with the lover again,
3. And the third part is getting through symptoms of withdrawal after a permanent separation takes place.”
Coaching couples through this process means facing strong feelings and withdrawal symptoms, but it also provides spouses a good opportunity to learn to meet each other’s needs.
Affairs happen when emotional needs are not being met and the only road to recovery is to find out more about each other’s most important emotional needs and how to meet them. These proven strategies have worked for many.
Want to learn more? Visit marriagebuilders.com. As always, I am here to help and can answer any questions you may have. Helping couples survive affairs is some of my most rewarding work.
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